Alumni Blog

Now I understand how I have been desensitized to the poverty and realities of my own country

Kristen describes how difficult it is to stay present in the face to poverty.

My first month living in Tegucigalpa revealed many sad realities and to be honest sometimes it made falling asleep at night pretty hard. Seeing people everyday struggling to live, especially children, was extremely difficult. The first time I saw a person living in extreme poverty I was filled with a sense of anger and a desire to help. My first week at my placement a co-worker explained how many children inhale toxic glue to stave off hunger. She explained how the first time she saw it her heart broke, but later on it became a fixture of everyday life. I am struggling right now with this same change in feelings. The things that used to make me cry and break my heart, I now view with a certain degree of apathy. For me this is upsetting, because I know that poverty is a terrible reality that should never be ignored. For me this is a battle of conscience, because deep down I believe that I am a compassionate person. Now I am beginning to understand how I have been desensitized to the poverty and realities of my own country. I now realize that maintaining a motivation for change is a constant struggle. And though as hard as it can be to live with that kind of emotion, I never want to forget the struggles of the people I have met during this experience. (Kristen, STM/Honduras 09)