Participants Blog
Impact of Time Away
My work, host family, and other aspects of life here, have impacted me in a number of ways that I feel are very profound. My heart and my eyes have definitely been opened.
Redefining Success
Triumph. Success. Victory. Growth. Achievement. These attributes overwhelming dominate my Western consciousness. In Canada, I have been socialized from a very early age to highly value accomplishment and success. Attaining first place and being ahead of the masses is frequently deemed to be a goal worthy of great sacrifice in my Canadian culture. My peers and I constantly compare our achievements, whether academically, financially, or otherwise, with each other and envy whoever has performed best.
Forever Changed
Last Sunday, I woke up feeling ready to go back to Canada. I will be forever grateful for all that I’ve learned about the injustice, inequality, and the world. But being exposed to the terrifying realities of injustice and neglect has left me feeling heartbroken, useless, and ultimately, burnt out. I woke up and just couldn’t picture myself doing this any longer. The pain that comes from witnessing someone suffer as a result of barriers and inequalities that are so preventable and unnecessary is just debilitating and nearly impossible to cope with. However, although that morning I felt like I had had enough, at the same time, I realized that going home would be incredibly frustrating too. It will be frustrating to process and make sense of what I have lived here, in addition to recognizing that after I leave, it is extremely likely that the injustices that nearly drive me to insanity will still remain.
Visits with Gogo in Swaziland
All of my life, I have been the type of person to want to go out and “save” the world. Witnessing injustice has always created a rage inside of me, further motivating me to take action and alleviate the pain caused by the injustice. However, for the first time in my life, the sight of injustice has left me feeling paralyzed, immobile, and hopeless. My host sister, Xolile, is a care giver for SWAPOL, which means that she is responsible for faciliating home visits to sick people in her town. As a volunteer with SWAPOL, I have made it my duty to accompany her whenever she goes out. Although I will try as hard as I can to capture my first home visit in words, no words could ever serve it justice.
Tania (U of T) Speaks from Swaziland
I have never been so challenged in my life. In Canada, my friends and family see me as an unbreakable rock—strong enough to face any experience and not only come out of it alive, but beaming with stories and a wiser, broader worldview. I have never felt like such a failure in my life.
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