Participants Blog

It’s an odd, yet amazing, thing to think about how significant a single hug can be to someone - to a

It’s an odd, yet amazing, thing to think about how significant a single hug can be to someone - to a friendship.  M. is a 23 year old, beautiful Rwandan woman, with lots to offer to this world.  Overall, coming into this family was quite easy for me.  All made me fell comfortable and welcome.  All but one - M. our house girl.  Upon meeting M. and learning that she would be taking care of my laundry, meals, getting me hot water if needed and cleaning my room, I felt as though the air was immediately thick between us.  She knows just as much English as I do Kinyarwanda so communication is quite the challenge.  her not-so-friendly glares, habit of mimicking my attempt at their language and giggle behind my back were dead give a ways that we weren’t best friends or even acquaintances for that matter.  I was extra muzungu word that only added to her already heavy load.  Determined to win her over one way or another, I was trying everything: getting my own meals, thanking her more, cleaning my own things and helping around the house.  Yet nothing seemed to work.  After a day of feeling tired and frustrated with lack of movement in our relationship, I sat down to lunch to find my favourite meal.  Overyjoed at having this food, my mood lifted and I showed her my appreciation in a new way - a simple hug.  “Murakoze Chanye, M.!” (Thank you very much) is what I said as I wrapped my arms around her.  To my surprise and delight, she held me in return and embraced the hug, smiling and saying that I was welcome.  Since that small act of affection and gratitude our relationship has turned to friendship.  We laugh together, at nothing in particular, hug each other often and smile and though we’ve been long lost friends.  Out of this relationship, I’ve completely been reminded that everyone desires to feel needed; like they belong and are appreciated.  I showed M. this in a huge way but small action - a simple hug.