Participants Blog

Impact of Time Away

My work, host family, and other aspects of life here, have impacted me in a number of ways that I feel are very profound. My heart and my eyes have definitely been opened.

My host family has impacted me the greatest. Their concern for my well-being and happiness has warmed my heart, and the way they treat me has made me feel so accepted and appreciated. From the first day I arrived they treated me as one of their own family members. They accepted me whole-heartedly and their kindness has been such a blessing. They have invited me to share their home, and their hearts. They give me so much everyday. They do not have fancy things like I have at home, but whatever they have, they are willing to give. Their kindness and sincerity is so great. I never expected to feel such a close connection with people I hardly know, and who have such different lives. We laugh, joke, and smile together often. Since there is no television in my home, we often spend the nights conversing and just being together which is very enjoyable and heartwarming. These experiences with my host family have opened my heart, and have created within me a greater appreciation for relationships in my life. I have realized the important role that family, community, and friends play in life. Life is not all about what we can do for ourselves; rather, it’s about what we can do for the people in our life. It is not important what we have in our life, but whom we have in our life I feel.

Apart from my experiences in my host family, I have also had work related experiences and other encounters with people that have impacted me. The position of women in this country has been an issue that I keep struggling with. It seems everywhere there is an example of the struggle that women are facing in this country. The lack of opportunities and choices for women is disturbing. Their realities are far beyond what I can even comprehend. The poverty, lack of education, lack of healthcare services, abundance of violence, and high infection of HIV/AIDS, leave women in this country with few options for a good life. Marriage is often the only choice, or the best choice, and many marriages are very oppressive for women. For example, I know a woman whose husband has multiple girlfriends, and does not support her or their child. He sleeps with other women but refuses to wear a condom with his wife strictly because she is his wife, which greatly increases her chances of contracting HIV/AIDS. He also abuses her, yet she can not escape. Divorce is frowned upon so much by her family, that she feels she cannot leave. If she did leave, where would she go? There is no support for women in these situations. The inequality that exists between women and men here is evident in all aspects of life. It is practically impossible to be an independent woman in this country. Women either rely on their husbands or their families for support. However,  through witnessing these struggles, I also see the strength that these women possess. Many of these women still have a zest for life, and go above and beyond to help the members of their family and community.
 
Seeing these inequalities have impacted me in multiple ways. I am very aware of my position in my country as a woman. I am grateful for the opportunities and freedoms that I have at home, but I am angered, and frustrated by the things I witness here. I am inspired by women who continue to live their lives to the fullest, and continue to help others, despite their own circumstances. There is so such goodness in the people in this country despite the pain and the struggle. Being here is both heartwarming, and heart wrenching.
Overall, since being here, I have learned what it means to be compassionate. I know what gratitude feels like, and I know love. I know Love of many kinds; the love of strangers, the love for your community, your family, and friends. Now I am working on cultivating hope, and faith. Hope for the future, and Faith that something positive will come from this experience. 

-Kimberly Russell, Swaziland